Friday, 15 June 2012

How Not To Attract Potential Dates

To all the guys out there:

If you want someone to look at your profile on a dating site, here's what NOT to do. The following is a direct copy/paste from someone's profile. Oh deary me.

"9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their a** to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn Right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film, "did ya see that?" No Loser, I paid £12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor!

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8. When people say "life is short". What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do thats longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, would I be standing here???"

Monday, 4 June 2012

Am I a bitch?

It's been ages since I last updated this, because I've not been doing much dating-wise recently. But then I went to a wedding, and thought I needed to get a move on with having one of those myself! So I'm back in the game again.

Anyway, I was chatting to this chap. Online, obviously. He seemed pretty nice, intelligent and interesting. He was new to the site, however, and hadn't yet put up a photo. So I asked to see what he looks like. Um. The result wasn't good. Um. So now what? Surely whatever happens, he's gonna know I'm no longer interested purely because he showed me his photo. Am I a bitch for not replying to his last message? Am I giving him a complex about how he looks? Is he now never going to find love due to spending his whole life with a paper bag on his head?