Thursday, 19 September 2013

Long time no see!

Hello! People (well, one person) have said I should write another blog post as I haven't updated this thing for a while. So here it is.

Most of the reason I haven't updated for ages is that I went on holiday and then my interwebs broke. However, I am now not on holiday any more (boo) but I have interwebs (yay). So I can indeed blog again.

Since I last wrote I have had three dates with a lovely chap. He's very funny and I really enjoy being around him. However. Zero flirting yet. No kissing, no touching, no hand holding, no nothing. Part of the reason for that might have been I was ill for our last date and quite possibly the thought of snogging my snotty face was a bit of a turn-off. Understandable, that. However, I'm going to see him again so we'll see how things go. Going to try to be less snotty next time.

Saturday, 10 August 2013


"I'm looking for someone to take as a date to Get The Blessing at the Spice of Life on the 13th of December, and who would also possibly fancy moving out to Mauritius for six months."


Wednesday, 7 August 2013

It's All Gone A Bit Nuclear...

I reasoned that, seeing as only a small percentage of messages ever get replies, I should sent out messages to as many people as I could find who I was interested in. So, yesterday, I spent the day (on and off, I did do other things too!) sending messages to loads of people. And... it all went a bit crazy.

Final count by the end of the day was 28 messages from five different guys. Then today I got messages from three more guys, two of whom I hadn't messaged.

Look how popular I am! It's the first time I've EVER been popular amongst menfolk, so I am determined to enjoy it. No idea how many of these messages will turn into dates, but it promises to be a fun few weeks!

Tuesday, 6 August 2013

Single again

So that didn't work out. I knew it wouldn't, really. Right from the start there was no real spark, nothing to make him stand out from the crowd. It was really good fun while it lasted though, and I don't regret the two weeks we were seeing each other.

In the end it was a pretty mutual finish - I asked him whether he wanted to meet up again, or whether we should just call it a day, after he'd been pretty distant and not as enthusiastic as usual. He confirmed there was no spark, and that we should both move on. I'm pleased he was feeling the same way, things are much better when both parties are on the same page.

So I'm back on the dating site again! Sent out quite a few likes and messages today, so far nothing in return, but I'm patient!

Thursday, 1 August 2013


Sorry for the lack of recent updates. My interwebs died, and I've only just got them back!

Since my last update, there have been two more dates. Both with the same chap, the one I told you all about in the last post. Progress!

I wasn't sure about him when we first met, but each time I meet up with him I like him a bit more than I did the last time, so I reckon it's definitely worth seeing him some more. The second and third dates both started off the same way, drinks in a pub followed by some food, and lots of chatting about all sorts of things. Then the third date ended up back at his place. Which was rather nice.

So I'm going to see him again, back at his again, for food and computer games. What could possibly be better?

I do feel like I should apologise to the approximately four people who sometimes read this. When I started the blog I thought it'd be a good place for all the stories about the crazies I met. But I haven't met any crazies. So it's a bit dull. Sorry. I'm enjoying myself though!

Sunday, 21 July 2013

Crazy Times

As of Friday, I had two dates set up for the weekend. One Saturday night (last night), and one tonight. I wasn't particularly looking forward to either - in both cases I'd really only said yes because I had no other plans, and I was working on the basis that any date was better than no date.

And then on Saturday a new guy popped up in my matches. He seemed like a near-perfect match for me. We had very similar interests and I was much more excited about him than most people on the dating site. We sent a few messages back and forth, and then he asked what my plans for that evening were. I told him about the date I really wasn't looking forward to, and he told me I should tell that guy I couldn't make it and go out with him instead. So... I did. I felt pretty guilty about standing the other guy up, especially as he didn't reply to my message so I couldn't be sure that he got it. But it was definitely worth it.

We did get on really well. Had a lovely time drinking pints by the river. I didn't fancy him at first, but he grew on me as the evening went on. And then there was a bit of kissing. Well. Quite a lot of kissing, really. And, in fact, he invited me back to his. I didn't go, I think I need to get to know him a bit better before we get up to those sort of shenanigans, and I do have a 'no sex on first date' rule. He was OK with that, which is good, and there was more kissing while he was waiting for his train.

We've made vague plans to see each other again next week, and so I've cancelled the date I wasn't too keen about tonight. Obviously I've only met this guy once, so I've got no idea whether it will turn into something or not, but I don't think there's much point in going on a date with someone else the day after such a great date. I think I'll just be comparing, and that wouldn't be fair.

Monday, 15 July 2013


I think Sunday is best summed up via the medium of texts sent to a friend of mine:

"I might be in the process of setting up another first date!"

"Heading out to meet a guy now, in fact!"

"Oh dear, he's a bit camp..."

So there you have it.

If you're hankering after slightly more detail though, read on:

I messaged a guy on Sunday morning, just to say 'hi', and we sent a few messages back and forth before he said, in what I now realise was probably a joke 'we could have a cheeky drink tonight if you're free?'

I was free, and said so, and so we found ourselves heading into town for an impromptu date. It's quite nice doing things this way, actually, as you don't have any build up of nerves or anticipation.

When he arrived at the arranged meeting point, it turned out that he had, by his own admission, come dressed as a pirate. Not the whole shebang with an eye patch and parrot and peg leg, that would have been very weird. Just cut-off jeans and a stripy blue and white top. Very piratey. He reckoned it was all he had that was ironed.

Anyway, despite the pirateness, he was absolutely lovely. Really nice, really sweet, although possibly too nice and sweet. And also a little bit camp. He reminded me of a puppy, a bit. And I don't really want a puppy. He even texted me after the date to apologise for being so nervous. Bless!

So I had a fun evening, in a pub with great company, but I won't be seeing him again. I'm most definitely a fan of last-minute dates though!

Sunday, 14 July 2013

Another First Date

I had another first date the other night. I have to say, I didn't have high hopes. There was nothing off-putting about his profile, but nothing that really pulled me in either. But he messaged me, and was keen to meet up, so I thought I might as well. Some people come across much better in person than online, and I reasoned that the worst that could happen if we met up is that I'd have a terrible date to write about on here.

As it turned out, I had a really good time. We met up and went to the South Bank, had a few drinks (how expensive is Pimm's, by the way?!) and went for a lovely meal. We had lots to talk about, covering subjects from climbing mountains (he was a bit put out that he couldn't impress me with his mountaineering, given that my ex climbed Everest...) to geeky board games to sex before marriage to whether drugs should be legalised.

I really enjoyed the evening, and his company. However, there was absolutely no attraction there, on my part at least. No spark at all. I think, if we lived closer together rather than on opposite sides of a rather large city, we could be good friends, but there's no chance of any romance. He hasn't contacted me since we met, so I'm presuming he felt the same way. Or, at least, I'm hoping he felt the same way, because I don't want the awkwardness of having to tell him I'm not interested...

Sunday, 7 July 2013

Am I That Bad?

Today, a guy viewed my online dating profile, and promptly deleted his account. I know this, because when I clicked on his picture in the 'who has looked at your profile' bit, his profile wasn't available. And then his picture disappeared from the 'who has looked at your profile' bit.

I can only assume that he saw my profile, and decided he'd be better off alone. Ah well...

Monday, 1 July 2013

Why are Guys so Confusing?

I had a date! Yay! And it went really well. We chatted for hours, until almost the last tube home, and there was lots of flirting. Lots of hints about seeing each other again. And it ended with a peck on the lips. Hurrah!

Now comes the horrible bit though. In my limited experience, I can say that for me this bit is always horrible. You meet a guy for a first date. And it goes well. And he's lovely (and, in this case, absolutely gorgeous). And you'd really like to see him again. But really you don't know if he wants to see you again. So you wait, maybe exchange a few texts, until one of you plucks up the courage to ask for a second date. Well, that's how it normally goes anyway.

Except for in this case things seem to be going a little bit more weirdly than that.

He texted me the morning after to check I'd got home OK. Definite points to him there! And we had a brief conversation. Then the next morning I took the plunge and asked whether he wants to meet up this week. He said how about today? Round his place? I stalled a bit, thinking it might be a bit soon to go to his place. I mean, I'd only met him once. But then he said we could just eat dinner on his balcony and, given the amazing weather, I thought 'why not'? So I told him I could be in his neighbourhood in a couple of hours. No response. I texted again asking if he wanted me to come over. Nothing. Hours later I texted him to say it looked like he didn't want me to come over after all. He said he just felt guilty for forcing me to come to his. I replied and said that maybe we could meet up next weekend. Aaaand nothing from him.

I'm feeling like I'm getting some serious mixed messages. Does he want to see me or not? Ball's in his court now, so I'm just waiting. Well, not just waiting. I'm messaging other guys on the dating site in the meantime. Maybe I'll find someone a bit more straightforward?

Friday, 14 June 2013

Which Dating Site?

Last night I took the plunge and joined a new dating site. Time to get back in the game! It's actually really good fun, and I'm enjoying looking through all the profiles and sending messages. No replies yet, but it's early days!

I suppose I'm in a good position to review some dating sites now. Last time around I was using Match Affinity and, obviously, it worked pretty well. However, I found that a lot of people on there were... odd. It sounds quite snobby, but I didn't feel that a lot of the people on that site were quite what I was looking for. I also only had three dates in one year, however I'm willing to admit that it may have been my fault for not being proactive enough. I tended to sit around and wait for people to message me, and when I did message people it was mostly using the generic suggested messages that the site provided. I didn't get a very good hit rate with this technique. However, I did appreciate the HUGE questionnaire you had to fill in, as it gave you a really good idea of what each person was like before you messaged them. Even after I'd started dating my ex, I went back and had a look at his profile a couple of times to check whether there was anything in his responses to the questions that might be a deal-breaker.

This time around I'm using Guardian Soulmates. This has been recommended by a friend who is currently in a successful relationship with someone she met on there. It's more expensive than Match Affinity, but it seems to attract a different sort of person, which suits me. I've heard it described as the Waitrose of dating sites, which I think fits it quite well! It doesn't ask quite so many questions, but people's profiles seem to be much longer and more detailed, so that's good. I've also changed my technique to being more proactive and more personal in my messages, so we'll see how it goes!

Wish me luck!

Thursday, 6 June 2013

It's been a while...

It's been a while since I last updated this blog. There are two reasons for this.

Reason the first: This is a blog about online dating. Once I'd entered into what could be reasonably called a relationship, I wasn't online dating any more. There weren't any humourous stories about crazies or horrible first dates. There was just a relationship. Nice, but not blog-worthy.

Reason the second: I wasn't comfortable about sharing details about someone else once I knew them well. And intimate details about a relationship aren't necessarily something I want to share with random internet people (lovely as you all are...). So I stopped blogging.

So what's changed, you ask. Why are you back?

I'm back because I am no longer in a relationship. He ended it in the classiest way possible, via text message. Nice, right? It wasn't a total shock, I knew things were getting rocky, and we hadn't seen each other very often, but it still left me in a bit of a mess for a couple of days. Now, though, after a good night's sleep, I can see that he was right to end things. He was NOT right to end things with a text. Do NOT do this, people. It's horrible. But he was right that it wouldn't have ever been a long-term thing. It was fun while it lasted (lots and lots of fun!) but we didn't have enough in common to build a lasting relationship, and as he put it, there was no 'spark'. I'll miss him, probably for a while, because we got on so well, but I'm not pining for him, so it's all good.

And now I can rejoin the fun fun world of online dating! I'm actually quite excited about getting out there again and meeting someone new. I'm going to leave it a few weeks before joining a new dating site, as I think it's important not to get into something on the rebound, and I need to get to a stage where I won't be comparing anyone new to the guy I've just broken up with, but I'll definitely be re-entering the fray before too long.

So stay tuned for my future adventures in the world of online dating!

Thursday, 11 April 2013

So much effort! But worth it...

Fourth date was at my place. Lovely. Yay! Except...

His place was pristine and amazing and wonderful and the tidiest place I've ever been in. My place is... not like that. So the day before the date was spent stressing and tidying and cleaning and stressing some more. I didn't want his first impression of my place to be that it was a complete tip! So I managed to get it into a state that was only slightly like a tip before he came round. And it all went rather well, so I guess he didn't mind that I have stuff ALL OVER THE PLACE compared to him. Phew!

Now we're getting to know each other better I don't think I'll feel the need to stress quite so much when (yes! when!) he comes over again. Although this time I'll log out of my facebook so I don't need to spend half my time trying to stop him from changing my status to something wildly inappropriate.

Saturday, 2 March 2013

Second Date! Second Date!

I went on a second date! Yay! Take THAT, New Year's Resolution!

So, yes. Second date. We went for some food, and saw a film. And it was really lovely. Lots more chatting, finding out more about each other, and liking what we found out. No real flirting to speak of, mind you. But then I'm rubbish at flirting, so I was never going to start down that road until he does. I did get a kiss on the cheek at the end of the evening though!

He's going away for a few weeks now, but he said he'll text me while he's away, so it's looking good for a third date.

In other news, it's weird how many people tell you they're online dating once you tell them you are. It's like everyone has this secret, and they think they're the only one, but once one person opens up it turns out everyone's in the same boat.

Thursday, 14 February 2013


I had a date! And it went really well! Hurrah!

We ate some food and drank some (non alcoholic) cocktails and talked and talked and talked. It's weird, because we seem to have nothing in common at all, and yet there wasn't a single awkward silence.

When we parted at the end of the date, he said he'd call. So I waited AN ENTIRE DAY and no phone call. Now, being unused to dating, I don't know what the rules are. If someone says they'll call, how soon do they mean? So, on the second evening after the date I took the plunge and sent him a message saying I'd like to see him again. And then spent a nervous two hours watching my phone. And then he replied! Hurrah! And he said he'd like to see me again too! Double hurrah!

So, I might be about to achieve my new year's resolution of finding 'Mr Second Date' (Mr Right seemed like a step too far...) and it's only February. Things are looking good!

Friday, 18 January 2013

Well, it's been a while!

It's been a while since I last posted on here, mostly because it's been a while since I last went on the dating site. However, I've given myself a kick up the bum, and decided I'm not going to get anywhere by sitting around waiting for someone to find me. So I'm back in the game!

But it's hard! The problem is, you can see whether your messages have been read or not. If you couldn't, it'd be fine. If you didn't get a reply you'd just think 'Well, he probably hasn't read it yet' and then you'd forget all about him anyway. But no. The site tells you whether your messages have been read or not. So you can, with a couple of clicks, see just how many guys you sent messages to who have deemed you unworthy of a reply. It's rejection, but on a massive scale.

I can't feel too bad though, I mean, I do the same thing. People message me, and I read their message and then... ignore them. Mostly, though, because I'm horribly shallow, the reason why I ignore them is their photo. Or their age, I guess. Or the fact that their profile message is weird, or missing, or makes them sound so far up themselves that they're probably suffering from vitamin D deficiency from never seeing sunlight. But probably their photo, more often than not. So if I'm being ignored for the same reason... well... woe.

So maybe I just need to be strong and not click on the 'sent messages' bit. But it's there... I don't think I can...